Notes from a Bemused Cat Sitter

I wanna go out

Minerva, it's half past ten, it's cold, it's dark. You are not going out.

I'm a cat. Cat's don't care about cold and dark, we answer to the 'Call of the Wild'

Call of the Wild my arse, you aren't going out.

The other staff lets me.

She does? Let me read to you from the list she left me, shall I? *Ahem*

Item 1. NO scary Movies ( she gets nightmares)

Item 2. NO fizzy drinks ( you'll be scraping her off the ceiling)

Item 3. NO staying up or going out late ( she has no sense of direction in the dark and she gets really cranky in the mornings

Item 4. Do NOT let her on the Internets ( you don't even want to know)

Shall I go on?

I still wanna go out, I have important cat stuff to do.

No.

You're not my real mum.