You know that man you've got measuring the dining room for bookcases?

What about him?

He was making swears.

Oh crap. Why was he making swears, Minerva?

I dunno. I was helping him and everything.

Everything? Really? What did this helping and 'everything' consist of, oh little moggie of mine?

Erm, well it wasn't easy because I am not fully trained yet ...

You can say that again...

But I chewed the end of his tape measure, sat everywhere he was doing measures, went in and out of his legs a few times and bit his nose. Helping. Yes.

Funnily enough, he now says he's suddenly too busy to make bookshelves for us, what do make of that, Minerva?

I think someone who makes that many swears should not be around a young and impressionable kitten. Have you thought about how attractive books look piled on the floor? Also, they make excellent mazes for small, bored cats. You're welcome.

***Sigh***